Whenever we work with the adults in a room and ask them what’s the 1 thing that you need for success. You know what’s the one thing that comes up every time. People say confidence.
What is this confidence, and where does it come from?
It comes from our childhood, so when we as adults need the confidence to succeed, then children need it much more. They need it because they’re dealing with many more challenges. We are dealing with our environments, but they are dealing with their own physiology— kids development with so much curriculum & distraction.
Many things, so a child’s confidence is the foundation for their life and the way they’re going to grow. In fact, how a child’s confidence is built in his early childhood is the reason. Why he would succeed and how he would manage, so let’s go a little bit more into it.
What is confidence and how to empower your child?
- There is a lot of myth around it a lot of people will come to us and say he doesn’t speak to you know when a lot of guests arriving at home. He doesn’t talk to them that’s got nothing to do with confidence alone. It could be the child’s personality.
- We think when a child doesn’t go up on stage and speak. It’s about confidence; there are different kinds of nature. There are different inclinations that children have not gone up today on stage may not be you know the same scenario tomorrow.
How confidence is shaped?
Confidence is not like a pill that we can give to the child, and it will get embedded. It actually comes from what is happening in the environment so research proves one of the most fundamental foundations of a child’s confidence is the parents. Yes the parents because it says that you know what you speak and how you speak becomes their voice as they grow up. Their inner voice it becomes you know their driving factor so if you used to say you know they don’t do that don’t do it this way and maybe if they make a mistake you know pounce on them or there’s a you know. You shout or you’re always saying you know I can’t or even if you’re saying it to yourself. They have heard more of that. The tone in which you say you do if you’re reprimanding them and the tone is really really hard okay then anytime they hear the sound anywhere else also it triggers them.
Hence, what you speak and how you speak as parents is going to become their inner voice as they grow up.
Very important thing to look for is what are we speaking as I said before, necessarily it is not about talking to them; it is also about what you speak amidst you want. I mean, it could be the two parents. Talking to each other, it could be you talking to you know grandparents or other relatives or neighbors. Whatever you are you know speaking is what the child is processing, so it is very important to actually self you know reflect and look at saying what environment we are creating for children is it an environment of confidence. For example if somebody comes home and says okay let’s go for a walk and if you are going to respond and saying I don’t think I can go for a walk I am not able to walk, You are just replying but the child is picking up that you know whenever he has to walk he has to think about whether he can walk or not. It is very subtly getting ingrained in the child it could be again as simple as you know if somebody is calling you and you’re you know giving reasons on and on about your health you would see the child also getting up in the morning and giving you reasons on and on so all of this is very very interlinked.
- What environment are we creating?
- What are we saying to each other?
- What are we saying to the child?
Every time that you have a conversation with children are you leaving them empowered yes they may not be able to do it so a lot of parents will come and say that, yeah I mean I can’t know you know I can’t encourage a child when he can’t do something very true when the child can’t do something it is to address what he can do and also guide them or suggest them on how he can do don’t leave it, and I can’t do face you know to add it up with saying how he can do for example for you take you know four-year-old into the playground and he can’t play with the elder boys so he would come back and say
I can’t and all you need to say is you may be able to if you learn how to play even if you spend every day a half an hour and learn on how to kick on how to you know move the ball. You would be able to so you would see the child actually trying to play with the ball and try to learn the skill.
Children begin by loving their parents, as they grow older, sometimes they forgive them
My request is don’t stop at telling them what they can’t and what they shouldn’t go forward and tell them how they can. How they would be able to make a move happen.